Top tips for successful conversations with parents and carers

Your involvement in difficult conversations should be quite rare, because your school leaders should be proactively engaging with families during day-to-day school life. But, read our hints and tips if you're asked to join or set up a meeting with parents/carers.

Last reviewed on 24 September 2025
School types: AllSchool phases: AllRef: 45679
Contents
  1. Get the environment and people right
  2. Have a clear framework or script to lean on
  3. Follow up on the conversation
  4. How to de-escalate a heated conversation
  5. Look after your own wellbeing
  6. Your school leaders should be engaging positively with parents/carers
  7. Next steps

It's likely that your school leaders will handle most difficult conversations with parents/carers. However, you might be asked to join a meeting with parents/carers if:

  • Your senior leaders feel that having another person present with a more neutral perspective might help diffuse a potential complaint
  • You're the chair of governors and a parent/carer contacts you directly to regarding a concern about the headteacher

Difficult conversations are usually better in person: Suggest meeting face-to-face, if you can A video or phone call is the next best option Avoid email if possible – a quick chat will save you both time in the long run It's likely your school leader will organise the logistics of who is invited and where the meeting is held, but make sure they've considered: Who will attend – which staff have the best relationship with the family? Who do they trust?  Culture, first language and class – different parent communities might have better relationships with different staff  Having